THERAPIST
FKSV · The group’s unpaid therapist
“Send me the screenshots.”
You’re the type to…
- 01talk someone through a breakup in 12 voice notes without leaving your blanket
- 02know everyone’s love life better than they do
- 03cry at three animated films in the same week, and own it
- 04turn down any plan that requires wearing jeans
- 05give perfect advice… that you never take yourself
What about you?
Take the testIts 4 axes
Crisis · When trouble hits
F Firefighter
You act right away, usually in a panic.
O Ostrich
If you don’t look, it doesn’t exist.
Energy · Your cruising speed
T Tornado
14 projects, 3 coffees, 0 breaks.
K Koala
Claims to need 22 hours of sleep.
Social · Where you recharge
S Stage
You need an audience.
C Cave
A voice note left unplayed for three days.
Emotion · What you let show
V Volcano
Everything comes out, right away.
I Iceberg
10% visible, 90% underwater.
The numbers
- 214Dramas solved from bed
- 0Advice applied to own life
- 1:47 a.m.Time of last session
The verdict
Your body is in koala mode, but your phone is a 24/7 emergency line. You feel everything, intensely, and you heal everyone else from your bed, between two episodes. Your own life? A case on hold. You charge nothing and you’re fully booked every night.
Useless superpower
Analysing an “ok.” with a full stop and coming up with three solid theories.
Red flag
You have opinions on everyone’s exes. Even the ones you’ve never met.
You get worked up about everything, CHILL plays it down and tops up your glass. The best emergency service in the world, and the comfiest.
You want to talk about their feelings, NINJA has already left for a half marathon. You didn’t even get to say “and what about you?”.
FAQ
How do you spot a THERAPIST?
They know every drama in the group, reply with voice notes at 1 a.m. and turn down any plan that involves getting dressed.
Who does THERAPIST get along with best?
CHILL: same love of the sofa and of people, and a calm that balances out the feelings.
How do you survive a THERAPIST?
Send them the screenshots, listen to their voice notes until the end and, now and then, ask how they’re doing.
The other types
